Life Of An Adopted Child

Have you ever felt like you didn?t fit in? Have you felt like no matter how you tried to fit in, it just didn?t work? Have you ever gone though the,?you don?t look like your mother? thing with your ?friends? or people that you grew up around? If not, than good for you.

If so, then you know how I felt growing up. I was adopted at the age of three and I had an older sister which was only two years older than me. I don?t remember much as a child which is sad to say but true. Most kids remember taking trips, or all the fun they had growing up. I am just the opposite I must say. I remember playing the violin for eight years, going to Cedar Point every once in a while but I could not stand roller coasters so it was a waste of money and time for me to go. I remember ice skating for two years, trying to learn how to swim but the deep end and myself just don?t? get along. I remember taking ballet lessons and modern dance lessons.

Not much fun I can say except for the ice skating. That was just one side of my life. The other side was seizure medicine, CT Scans, MRI?s, and one day hoping to find my birth family. I got told constantly that I did not look like my mother and you get tired of explaining that you are adopted. Some people just didn?t care; they just did it to be mean.

Don?t get me wrong I am happy that I was adopted. That someone wanted to love me. I don?t know how most adopted children feel about being adopted but the situations can always be worse. I think my case was different from most. I was around my birth mother until I got adopted. I later learned a few things about when I was a baby. Yes, that means I actually found my birth family. Not everything has a happy ending but you make due with what you can get?..right?

Now you are probably saying what is the point in all of this? I am writing this article to tell you that if you were adopted and you are thinking about finding your birth family there are a few things that you might want to consider first. The first thing is, are you trying to find them for the right reasons? The second thing is are you emotionally ready to handle the outcome whether it is positive or negative? You have to think about the answers to these questions because if you are looking for them for the wrong reason, you can cause a lot of damage to them or yourself. The ?are you emotionally ready? is important too because although you would like to have a happy ending, you might not always get one. Let me tell you about my experience in finding my birth mother.

I received my records at age eighteen and found out that I was taken from my mother because I was sick as a baby and she was too and they felt that she could not take care of me. All the test I named above, well as a baby I had seizures, meningitis, and pneumonia all before the age of two. Anyway, my birth mother had a common name so I looked for my brother and found him. He is only a year older than me. I called the house once I found out I had a younger sister and the more I called the house to talk to her the more my ?mother? was hesitant and started telling me her whereabouts.

The thing is my sister and I sound alike so I think she was onto us. I finally met my mother on Thanksgiving of ?99?. It was hard to get things out of her and eleven years later there are some things I still wont? be able to find out. I would have met my father if she would have told me about him before he died in February of ?00?. It is ironic that my family did not know about me all of these years, not even her husband. I guess she thought I would never try to find her. Anyway the one thing she was good for was medical information. The one thing you do not want to hear is that when your birth mother tried to get you back they said since I was sick as a child I might not be alive. Long story short, my mother and I are closer. At first, yes, I regretted finding her because I still feel left out at times.

What kept me though my years as a child and adult is that I write poetry and have been writing it for the past twenty-four years. It helped me when I was feeling down and I had no one to talk to so I wrote. To tell you my whole adoption experience I would have to write a book which in fact I might do one day. It is a lot more interesting and detailed then this article. It might seem like I didn?t tell you anything but from experience I can tell you that my expectations were high. I thought that we would bond instantly and that she would tell me everything I wanted to know and that we would have this relationship that I have dreamed of all of my life, but that was shot down quicker than it was thought up.

I hope this does not deter you from looking for your birth parents because everyone has a write to know where they come from. Just remember the two questions:

1) Are you doing it for the right reason?
2) Are you emotionally ready for the outcome?

Source: http://www.womenfavor.com/home-and-family/adoption-foster-care/life-of-an-adopted-child.html

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